• Ann Way

At the end of the tunnel



Trigger warning: suicide thoughts…

Imagine one day, when everything and everyone let you down…

Rejection after rejection…

And you are feeling worthless…

And nothing can hold you back…

Not your family, not your loved ones…

Not things you love, or things you hate…

Everything is just too hard and you cannot take it anymore…

You want to go...away, for good.

You see the tunnel, dark and narrow…

The tunnel is calling you…

You get there, and walk through the tunnel, hoping there will be light at the end of it…

There is no light…

Just a dark, dark pit.

And you go, and you go, and you go…

Thoughts firstly come through mind. The brain and the mind, they are conscious, they are radical. They judge and criticize, questioning your abilities to do things successfully. They compare you to your peers on every occasion. They tell you when you look good, how you should look good, when you need to do well, how you need to do well…

The constant and instant pressures you are under continuously affect you and your body. These thoughts trap your body, stop it from moving, and make it surrender. You lie there, you cannot move. You are trapped. And the thoughts come like tides, overwhelming you. It builds second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, week by week...

Until one day, you give up! …


Suicide is preventable. That’s what I read in research articles and the press. Finding a safe space to talk it through and walk through the rough paths is important. That’s what I heard. Here’s what I believe:

To prevent suicide, you need to fight the thoughts by making movements on your body. To get that thought out of your mind - move. Do not let it trap you. Move. Run. Scream. Cry. Do not let your body stop. Every single muscle on your body has movements. Do not think about big movements like running, dancing, exercising. Think of micro movements like the flicking of your finger tip, your breath, your eye lids. Focus on those tiny little movements. They should not be ignored. They should be given more attention. Because when you learn to listen to your body and hear its voice, you silence those dark thoughts.

You survive. …


@Writer notes: I am here to talk to you and listen to your stories. If you love to hear more from me about how movements can help keep the deep dark thoughts at bay, please leave a comment.


WHERE TO GET PROFESSIONAL HELP IN NEW ZEALAND:

1737, Need to talk? – Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor

Depression.org.nz – 0800 111 757 or text 4202

Lifeline – 0800 543 354

Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)

Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz, or find online chat and other support options here.

Samaritans – 0800 726 666

thelowdown.co.nz – Web chat, email chat or free text 5626


Anxiety New Zealand – 0800 ANXIETY (0800 269 4389)

If it is an emergency click here to find the number for your local crisis assessment team. In a life-threatening situation call 111.

Website: https://www.health.govt.nz/your-health/conditions-and-treatments/mental-health/preventing-suicide/if-youre-worried-someone-may-be-suicidal

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